Causes of Infection

 

"What caused you to get that infection?" This is a question you may or may not have been asked before in regards to an illness in your life, your body or just how it looks. But even though there are so many things to answer these questions, the one thing that no one wants to talk about, especially if they’re sick, is the cause of their sicknesses or illness. I know for me and my husband that we get a bad cold every year or two. We get colds that are like flu-ish but worse! We also get a little rash and sore throat a couple times a year but mostly they tend to go away on our own. When we first got sick with this virus our doctor told us it was in our heads because of our jobs and all that kind of stuff that they don’t care about. The only time he suggested something else than what I told him to fix it was when I had the feeling like I could smell it coming and that I should get my nails done for my foot so that the itch would go away. So he suggested to me medicated creams and other treatments and I didn’t like anything because I didn’t want a prescription or anything like that. He tried to explain to me that it was a respiratory disease and the medicine he gave didn’t cure it. So I went into the emergency room and I ended up being put out of the hospital because I wasn’t going to take his advice anymore. My husband came home early a few minutes after I came down at 12 pm and I was still sick as hell and I decided I had enough and I was going to go to bed, go to bed and wake up fresh of those horrible feelings that were so severe and horrible. That day I was sick in bed and I never felt better the next day. Not once, not even the smallest bit. If I fell down over, when I fall down I get really sleepy again. If my husband came home and I said I was sick in bed I couldn’t even stand. You couldn’t walk around or do normal things like work with me like I used to which made me feel really worthless and useless. Just walking around made my limbs weak and sore, my wrists were painful and I had to stop doing that. After that I had to lie down all the time because I couldn’t even walk up and down stairs. In the morning I woke up and didn’t want anything more and didn’t see anyone. That whole week I wasn’t eating any food or drinking plenty of water so I ended up being sick on and off in bed. A couple days ago my symptoms started getting better and I’ve got the same fever and chills ever since. It can last from 2 weeks to 6 months but it usually lasts for between 3 and 4. I think they think I can heal this virus but I keep hearing voices in my head telling me that things aren’t going well and I am going to need to be dead soon, I am going to die. I just feel so helpless right now. How do you tell someone who seems to go through some sort of mental illness to stop killing themselves? Right now for me at least, I haven’t gotten the answers to my questions about what really caused them to become sick but I have some ideas of why I think I have a mind of my own. I believe that this isn’t the first illness I have ever become ill with.

I know that I was very unlucky. Well, I mean I guess I should say a lucky one more than the rest of the world because I don’t think that I had any type of health issues in my life when the doctors diagnosed me with any number of diseases. No cancer, no diabetes, no heart arrhythmias, no kidney failure, no high blood pressure, no strokes, no asthma no allergies, no arthritis just nothing. The only reason I’m saying this is so many people aren’t fortunate enough to have health problems when they’re diagnosed with illnesses because this virus happened to me by chance. I have very good genes, I can live with it but it’s really bad enough.

When people find out they may go crazy and start blaming someone’s parents or relatives for something or other that they’re sick with. Maybe they want to get justice and pay someone to be responsible for something they’ve done which can lead to another diagnosis with mental illness. Those people then start thinking about suicide because they’re scared that someone might notice the warning signs and act on it. People like me who didn’t have a family history of mental illness start having panic attacks and anxiety attacks because if they do it they won’t have anyone to blame but themselves. They may also end up jumping from roof to roof and not knowing who will come along and break them down. All the while, I try to calm myself that this illness isn’t going anywhere. I’m waiting for the miracle vaccines to make everything okay which is what I’m hoping happens but I have to remember to breathe. There are people out there suffering and I’m sure others who are in worse situations than me, but I know that they will get help at some point in the future. I just hope that I can learn the most important lesson this virus has taught me. Don’t blame yourself. This thing is terrible, but don’t blame it on somebody else.

You can see that I’m not going to look back in time and regret anything that I did because I think that I’ve seen enough from experience that I need to stop trying to rationalize the past or the present.